Can we talk about housekeeping?

Sundays have traditionally been my day to catch up on housekeeping.  I’m not by any stretch of the imagination a neat-freak, but I like to get things straightened up a bit before the start of a new week. Over the past few years, my Sundays have gradually become more difficult.  If I had a busy Saturday, I would have a really hard time getting all my housework done on Sunday.  Of course now I know that’s a fibro thing, but it took me a long time to figure it out. Before I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, I came up with lots of reasons for why I couldn’t keep up with the housework. I thought I must be getting old and out of shape, and I started to wonder if maybe I was just lazy. It didn’t help when I would go to somebody else’s spotless house.  I would look at my friends or family members and wonder why they had the energy to keep their houses clean, when I could barely manage to get out of bed on the weekends.

I have been reading a lot about Fibromyalgia since my diagnosis, and I have learned how to manage my housework so that it’s not overwhelming.  But for some reason, yesterday I forgot everything I learned and I tried to do too much at once.  I fell back into my “Get everything done on Sunday” mentality.  I had a huge list of things I wanted to accomplish.  I made it through about half of that list before my body rebelled and I ended up just sitting in my Lazy Boy chair, in tears. And I am still paying for it today!

So, learn from me and don't try to overdo it when you're cleaning your home.  Read my tips for how to manage housekeeping when you have Fibromyalgia, and hopefully you will stay relatively pain free and comfortable.

(Like I said before, I’m not a neat freak, and nobody would put photos of my house in “House Beautiful” magazine.  I just try to get by the best that I can.) 

My tips:      

•  Get help.  This one is hard for me.  Really, really, really hard. I am NOT good at asking for help.  But I’m working on it, and I do appreciate the work my husband and daughters do around the house.  I’m working on being willing to ask family members and friends for help when I need it. My advice for you is to not be like me!  Ask for help! And if you can afford it, pay somebody to clean your house once a week

• Visualize your "inner Elsa" and Let it go! (For those of you who don't know any children under the age of five... that's a Disney movie reference.) Seriously, why does everything have to be perfectly clean all the time anyway?  Consider whether you need to reassess your priorities.  Maybe a clean house isn't that important in the grand scheme of things.

• Do a little at a time.  I’ve learned that I can’t do it all at once.  I try to break my cleaning tasks into small parts. If I have to unload the dishwasher, I will just empty the top rack and then take a break before doing the bottom rack. If I have to clean the bathroom, I’ll tackle the toilet and come back for the tub later. 

• Use products that make life easier.  I’ve found a few products that help to make cleaning less pain inducing. (Click on the links if you want to learn more about these products.):
 

Mr. Clean Magic Eraser- Oh my gosh, if I weren’t already married (and if Mr. Clean was a real person) I would totally marry him!  I LOVE these things.  These sponges don’t disinfect, so you won’t want to use them on your toilet or other germy areas.  But they do clean pretty much EVERYTHING easily with no painful scrubbing.

Vinegar and Dawn Dish Detergent- I don’t know what it is about Dawn dish detergent, but when you mix it with vinegar, it’s MAGIC!  Mix 2 parts vinegar with one part Dawn (I like the blue Dawn, but I haven’t experimented with the other varieties.)  Put it in a spray bottle and use it for general cleaning.  Just spray it on and wipe off with a sponge or cloth.  Easy peasy. 

Downy Wrinkle Releaser:  Because do you have the energy for ironing?  I know I don’t. 

A Lightweight Vacuum Cleaner: I have a heavy-ish vacuum and it’s difficult to maneuver when my muscles are feeling sore.  I would LOVE to have a lightweight vacuum cleaner.  Or even better… a Roomba!  What could be cooler than a robot vacuum cleaner?!  When they invent a robot that cleans toilets and does laundry, I will be truly happy.  

Grabber: I don’t own one of these… yet.  But after reading numerous reviews, I am going to grab one up as soon as I can.  (No pun intended.) You can use these things for picking up loose socks that are laying around the floor, reaching that piece of laundry that’s stuck in the back of the dryer, or grasping that bag of chips that’s on the high shelf of the cabinet.

*This post includes affiliate links, which means if you click on the link to a product you will be taken to a page where you can purchase those products.  I will receive a small commission. I only talk about products in my blog if I believe that they will benefit my readers.

Gifts of Love

I realize that I've been sounding a bit whiny in my previous posts.... focusing on what's wrong with me instead of all the blessings in my life.  Believe me, that's not how I am all the time. I realize that I am blessed in so many ways.

My birthday is coming up next week, and this year I seem to be having a two-week long celebration.  I didn't plan it this way, but that's how it is working out, and I'm so happy about it!  My parents took me (and the rest of our family) out to dinner last week, I had an at-home spa evening with one of my daughters on Sunday, I went out for pizza with some friends on Tuesday, and I've been getting so many gifts throughout the week.

I'm not the kind of person who expects people to give me gifts, but I very much appreciate the gifts I've been given this year.  Everybody seems to be going with a "cozy and comfortable" theme, which is absolutely perfect for my fibro body.  I got bath salts and essential oils, a comfy heating pad, yoga pants, warm socks and super soft flip flop slippers.  (I debated posting a picture of my feet in the slippers but my toes have not seen the light of day for the entire winter and they are NOT ready to be seen!  I'm thinking a pedicure might be in my future.) 

I love all of my gifts, but the thing that really makes me happy is knowing that all these people really care about me.  Honestly, I know this sounds cheesy but just having my friends and family around as I go through this fibro stuff is the best gift of all.  (Ok, yeah... that really did sound corny!)

Yes, I'm Happy. But That Doesn't Mean I'm All Better

 

I'm starting to realize that one of the hardest things for people to understand is that while I might LOOK ok, I don't always FEEL ok.  When I am happy (or energetic, or excited, or ____  fill in the blank), it doesn't necessarily mean that I am feeling well, physically.  I have been in pain for so long that I have learned how to deal with it. When something makes me feel happy, I will show that happiness. The fact that I feel happy does not mean that I don't also feel pain.

Even though I have this chronic condition, I still am trying to enjoy my life.  I will laugh at funny movies or smile when cats do something silly. In fact laughter actually has been scientifically proven to reduce pain, so it's good for me to laugh and have fun. But please remember, that even though I might be happy, I still have Fibromyalgia.  I am still in pain and I'm not all better, even though I may look "normal".

Fibromyalgia is a silent and invisible illness. People don't always understand it because they cannot see it.  But believe me, it is real, and it is constant. So, if I seem happy to you, I probably am still in pain, but just let me be happy for that moment.  I'll take all the happy moments I can get!

"How Are You?"

How are you?  A normal, everyday question.  We hear this question all the time; from friends, family, even grocery store cashiers.  For people who suffer from chronic pain, it's hard to answer that question.  Obviously, we aren't going to give the girl who works at the 7-Eleven a detailed overview of our symptoms.  A simple, "I'm fine, how are you?" will suffice.

But it's different when we're asked that question by close friends or family

members.  How do we respond when they ask, "How are you?" Do we tell them how we really feel?  Or do we just answer with a generic, "I'm fine."? 

I haven't figured out how to manage that dance between giving too much information (because, really... who wants to hear about aching joints and irritable bowel syndrome?!) and not telling the truth.  I don't want to lie to my friends or family, but I also don't want to always have to talk about my health.  When I say "I'm fine", I mean that I am dealing with my Fibromyalgia. I may not be feeling the best, but I am ok.

Things That Are Difficult For Me

I worry that this post might sound like I’m being negative, by focusing on what I CAN’T do.  But I think it’s important for people to understand what it’s like for somebody who has fibro.  There are things that I struggle with every day; things that probably don’t seem like a big deal to other people.  So this is my attempt at increasing awareness.

This is list of things that are difficult for me to do right now.  That doesn’t mean that these things are impossible for me to do, just that they might cause pain or make me feel fatigued.  On some days, these things may not be at all difficult for me to do, but on other days they may bring me to tears because they are so hard.  Such is the life of Fibromyalgia.

Things That Are Difficult For Me to Do:

 Anything that requires reaching up, like getting a dish out of a high cabinet.  Even shampooing my hair is difficult and I have to rest after taking a shower.

Lifting anything heavy. And by “heavy”, I mean the weight of a gallon of milk.  I can’t even lift my cat without my arms hurting.  (Ok… I admit my kitty is a bit plump, so maybe that’s not a good example!)  But really, it’s hard for me to lift or carry much of anything. This means I have a hard time carrying bags of groceries, lifting laundry baskets or even pushing the vacuum cleaner.  Sometimes, I can't even hold up my Kindle to read a book. 

 Sleeping. I’ve mentioned this before, but it bears repeating.  I CAN’T SLEEP!  Which means that after a night of sleeplessness, I’m exhausted. So then I’m basically useless the next day. 

 Being in one position for too long.  This means that I can’t sit, stand or lie down for more than about 20-30 minutes before I become uncomfortable.  (I can’t stand up for even close to that length of time, unless I’m leaning on something.)  I’ve found that pillows really help me to feel more comfortable when I’m sitting or lying down.  I especially enjoy my memory foam seat cushion on my computer chair!

 Remembering things. I’m an intelligent person, but I can’t even remember simple words these days.  I recently read a quote saying that you know you have Fibro when every conversation turns into a game of charades.  Yes! That’s exactly how I feel a lot of the time.  I can’t remember the word for… hmmmm….???  What was it that I was trying to say? 

Socializing when there are too many people talking at one time, or when there is music (or the television, or other noise) in the background. 

All of the above make it difficult for me to keep up with the normal tasks of everyday life.  I have a hard time cooking meals and keeping my house clean.  I haven’t been working, and I worry that I won’t be able to ever return to work.  Fibromyalgia is frustrating for me.  I am trying to remain positive, but right now, I’m just feeling discouraged.